Successful co-parenting is difficult. There is a lot of baggage between the parents, making it hard or impossible for them to bring their children up collaboratively after a divorce or separation.
Here are some of the challenges of co-parenting.
Feelings
The issues that lead to divorce and separations cause us to harbor negative emotions towards the other parent or former partner. Usually, these negative feelings lead to conflict whenever the two parties interact. Therefore, feelings are a significant hindrance to successful co-parenting.
To co-parent successfully, each party has to learn to manage how they feel about the other person. They should not show negative feelings or talk negatively about them with their children.
Money
There may be certain financial inequalities between the two parties after the divorce that make successful co-parenting difficult. Lack of financial input or support from either party may become a source of conflict and hinder collaborative parenting.
As children grow, the financial resources required also increase. The financial demands may be too steep for one party to handle. It leads to abdication of parental duties and makes it impossible for successful co-parenting.
Child support contributions are a significant source of conflict between divorced parties. When one is overwhelmed with childcare expenses, the other may be unwilling to help. As a result, conflict and arguments arise, blocking attempts at successful co-parenting.
Time
When parents have shared custody, one may feel the other has more time with the child. Where the situation persists, the parent who feels they have less time with their child may get offended and prevent successful co-parenting.
Successful co-parents have a pragmatic and fair schedule of how they spend time with their children. The plan should focus on the children’s needs and routines. Involve the children in creating the time plan to ensure it does not inconvenience their school and social life.
Different Parenting Styles
Consistency in parenting is a requirement for successful co-parenting. However, many couples have different parenting methods and ideas, especially after a divorce. As a result, cooperative co-parenting is difficult. Different parenting styles lead to parallel co-parenting, which has its benefits. However, cooperative co-parenting is ideal.
To resolve this problem, the parents should agree on how to keep a consistent lifestyle for their children.
Lifestyle Choices
Conflicts between divorcees often occur when one disagrees with the lifestyle choices of the other. Consequently, it may exacerbate their resentment and prevent any chance of collaborative co-parenting.
Tips for Successful Co-parenting
- Heal. The end of a relationship leads to emotional wounds. These hurt feelings keep both parties from successful co-parenting. Both parents need time to overcome their hurt before they can reconnect for collaborative co-parenting.
- Prioritize your children. Collaborative co-parenting benefits the children who need stability, security, and reassurance that they are not at fault for the divorce.
- Open communication. It ensures that both parties are on the same page on how to raise the children.
- Do not speak negatively about the other parent to the children.
- Make decisions that affect the children together.
- Ask for help. Get a support system from the extended family whenever parenting responsibilities overwhelm you. Or, hire a therapist to talk things over and help clarify your needs and get solutions.